They practice self-care as individuals. Your acceptance of your partner often reflects your acceptance of yourself. Thus, the first step to having a healthy relationship with someone else is to have a healthy relationship with yourself. However, acceptance of your partner does not mean that you tolerate abuse. Just wish them well and send them on their way.

They respect their relationship as being a unique bond. Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s, not your friend’s, co-worker’s, or that random couple whose relationship seems perfect. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, and love habits.

They are intimate about everything. Intimacy is what makes relationships last. It requires honest communication and openness about concerns, fears, and sadness, as well as hopes, dreams, and happiness.

They accept each other, without trying to change each other. The foundation of love is to let those we care about be themselves, and to not distort them to fit our own egotistical ideas of who they should be. Instead of trying to change your partner, give them your support and either send them on their way or grow together.

They make uninterrupted quality time for each other. Don’t ignore the one you love, because lack of concern often hurts more than angry words.

They say what they mean and mean what they say to each other. Most problems, big and small, within a relationship, start because of a lack of good, open, honest communication.

They listen intently before replying. Don’t listen so you can reply, listen to understand when it is important. Look at things from your partner’s perspective as well as your own.

They don’t play games with each other. Always be open and honest. And remember that when the truth is replaced by silence, silence becomes a lie too.

In a healthy relationship, you get what you put in. There is no room for selfishness. If you want love, give love. Don’t be concerned with who’s right; be concerned with loving and being loved, however, do not accept abuse, or consistent bad behavior; that is not loving yourself.

They cheer for each other. Having an appreciation for how amazing your partner is leads to good things. And be thankful for their blessings, openly.

They review and discuss their goals and dreams often. Having regular discussions with each other about goals, dreams, passions, and the future, in a way that’s positive and inspiring, will not only bring you closer together, but will also bring your collective desires closer to reality.

They negotiate and compromise on joint matters. Since people’s needs are fluid and change over time, and life itself demands change too, the inner workings of good relationships are negotiated and re-negotiated all the time. And oftentimes a two-way compromise is the best solution.

They refuse to play the blame game. Blaming your partner accomplishes nothing. Either you both take equal ownership of the problem or the problem will own both of you.

They don’t blow things out of proportion. There’s no reason to shatter your relationship into pieces over spilled milk. One way to check if something is worth mulling over, is to ask yourself this question: “will this matter in one year’s time? If not, then let it go immediately.

They tame their anger as soon as possible. Heated arguments are a waste. Your partner doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. Don’t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.

They apologize to each other as soon as possible. Making up after an argument is central to every happy relationship. A simple, honest “I’m sorry” is usually the most important first step.

They practice patience and forgiveness. Apologies must be backed by sincere patience and forgiveness. Because no matter how honest and kind you try to be, you will occasionally step on your partner’s toes. And forgiveness is knowing deep down that they didn’t mean to blow your fuse in the first place.

They make sacrifices for each other. It’s about knowing that sometimes you will do things you aren’t crazy about to make the one you love smile, and feel delighted to do so.

They stand together and refuse to let outsiders call the shots. If you’re having an issue with your partner, work it out with them, and if you need help, consult a relationship life coach and/or counselor.

By: Angel Chernoff
Vitality Magazine